Thank you…

As Youth Pastors, there are some many things that we do that are overlooked and underappreciated.  Often times, teens and their families forget to or don’t know to say “thank you.”  It is amazing to me how deeply touching a simple heartfelt thank you means.  So, as today is National Thank A Youth Worker Day (check out more about this at thankayouthworkerday.com), we at Youth Pastors Anonymous wanted to say thank you.  So hear these “thank yous” as if they are from your youth and their families…

Thank you for answering your call from God to go back to help those who are in high school and middle school; even if those were terrible years for you, we need help and you provide.  Thank you.

Thank you for all the times you stay up praying and struggling to find a way to help me understand faith and why it matters in my life.  Thank you.

Thank you for all the boring church meetings you sit through so that you can be a voice for us. Thank you.

Thank you for showing up to my games, concerts, plays, speeches, recitals, and so many other things; it shows you care beyond the walls of the church.  Thank you.

Thank you for all the notes you write, they really do mean so much to me and always seem to come at the right time. Thank you.

Thank you for bringing me cookies, ice cream, coffee, anything while I was recovering.  It reminded me about truly being the church to each other.  Thank you.

Thank you for planning, scheduling, setting up, running, and cleaning up for retreats and events.  I cannot image how much time you spent on this just so we can experience God in a deep and real way.  Thank you.

Thank you for spend hours preparing a lesson that I can relate to so I can learn what it means to be a disciple of Christ. Thank you.

Thank you for being with me when my world fell apart and I had nothing to live for and you were there present with me reminding me how God is with me. Thank you.

Thank you for asking me hard questions and caring about my soul, it challenges me to look beyond the shallows to the depths.  Thank you.

Thank you for being one of the few people who asks “How are you?” and stays around to listen to a real answer.  Thank you.

Thank you for always being there, week after week, and consistently showing up in my life.  Even if I seem like it doesn’t matter, it does; a lot.  Thank you.

Thank you for pointing out where God is at work in my messy life, sometimes it is so hard for me to believe that God cares; but you are a constant reminder that God does. Thank you.

Most of all, thank you for the fact that you live out faith in such a way that it makes me excited to be a Christian and one of the greatest gifts that you have given me.  Thank you.

Thank you for being such an amazing youth worker!
Chris and Joanna Cummings

Are you walking? - A reflection from Modern Family

I love the show Modern Family!  Often times is night be the funniest show out there, mostly because it brings up things that we have all seen in one way or another in our own family.  A recent episode, Phil on Wire (Season 3: Episode 3), was one that stuck out for me as a youth worker as well.

 

One part of the “Modern Family” is made up of a husband, wife, senior and freshman in high school daughters, and a preteen boy.  In this episode, they are addressing how do we teach our children how to handle life choices well, a topic they cover all the time.  The thing that stuck out to me as a youth worker in this episode was how the mom and dad tried to teach a lesson to their children.

The mom, on several occasions, is telling her daughters how they should handle getting along with each other and other people.  While she is doing this, we see the mom getting frustrated with the parking lot cop as the school.

Phil, the dad, and his son are seen in wonder of a movie about tightrope walkers.  Phil then decides that he must do this.  And he and his son spend the rest of the show trying to do get Phil to successfully tightrope walk across the yard.

(Spoiler) By the end, the mom is being arrested by the parking lot cop all while still trying to teach her girls about making good choices, while the dad is walking on a tightrope.

What stood out to me was this: 
How often do we as youth workers keep telling teens how to be a follower of Christ, all the while not living it out ourselves?

Think about the last time you as you, and not as a youth worker (not just because it was part of your job), but when was the last time you served because you were living out your faith… when was the last time?

I know for me, if I am honest and look back on a given week, I spend most of my time planning how to communicate how to be a follower of Christ or complaining about how some part of the church is limiting me to do so.  Instead of living out what it means to be a follower of Christ and asking others to join in. 

There are two inspiring points to leave you with from the episode that I hope challenge and encourage you:

The son challenges Phil, who was trying to tightrope 6 inches off the ground and failing: “Maybe that’s the problem, maybe you keep falling is because part of you knows you can fall; maybe if the wire was much, much higher you wouldn’t fall…”

After this, the mom and daughters come home to the son cheering on dad, as he walks a much higher rope, and the mom reflects: “All week long I have been telling my girls how to act instead of showing them. But not Phil, Phil could have said Alex relax don’t take everything so seriously or Hailey challenge yourself, don’t give up so easily.  But instead of talking the talk, Phil walked the walk (literally).  And isn’t that what we are supposed to do for the people we love?”

May we stop spending so much of our lives talking about faith, and raise the wire for how we live out our faith, so that those watching might be inspired to join in on the greatest story ever…

Leadership...

Last gathering of YPA, we discussed Youth Leadership: What do we do to train, equip, and let youth be leaders in our churches and groups? The range of answers was from "nothing, it is easier to do myself" to "we let them have enough leadership that they might fail from time to time."

I got me thinking, not just about youth leadership though, but about who is helping to lead us as youth pastors.

I know that in the perfect world everyone would get along great with their pastors and they would guide us in leadership and faith, but let's face it; this just isn't always the case.  And even if you do have a great relationship, the pastor is so busy with the other staff and rest of the church; the focus on you is minimal.

So I ask: Who is helping you develop into a leader of student and adult leaders?

It seems like often times we just wing it, it might work and it might not.  But what if we could have other leaders come along side us and help give us guidance, encouragement, and challenge our thinking and practice to make us better at what we do?

If we are honest, we all need people in our live who will help push us to keep growing. Sometimes this happens naturally, sometimes you need to create it.  

For me, I am currently part of a program Center for Youth Ministry Training, in which thier four priciples are Classroom, Church, Coaching, and Cohort.  Essentially pairing a seminary student with a church while support both with a coach to guide the youth worker and provide a place for thier peers to gather and grow.

I believe that YPA can help provide the cohort aspect in any context, but you must seek out mentors, coaches, in you life.  Mentors who will challenge you to become the leader you were created to be!

Be inspired today that the mentors are out there, you just need to be active in finding them and setting out time to meet.

Who are you going to sit down to coffee with?

Who is pouring into you...

We had a great YPA gathering this month!  It was amazing to be back together after taking the summer off.  I cannot describe how uplifting it is to be together with the community!  We spent the time sharing stories of how we witnessed God working this summer, one by one we shared great stories of how we saw God at work in our teens, through our teens, and even in us.  They were all amazing storied, but there was one story that got me thinking...

The story was about how she was invited to go on a mission trip with some people from her church, and although there were youth on the trip, she was not really expected to lead in any way; and they were paying for her to go.  

Through the trip she was able to experience again what it is like to go on a mission trip and experience God at work, without needing to worry about the next thing or what that kid is doing over there.

She described it as a truly refreshing and refueling.  She then described, how many of us feel, that it seems like she was always giving...giving...giving, and never being pour into herself, and she looked up and said to the group of youth ministers: "Do you every feel like that? Where you are always pouring out and no one is pouring into you?"

And you could see on everyone's face, including my own, that we all felt that way in one way or another.

It does seem like we find ourselves in this place more often than not, if we are honest.  As ministers, too often we find that no one is there or even thinks of ministering to us.  And we know that it is not just some devotional that is going to fill us.

For me, at each church I have been at as a youth pastor, I have always found a family or two who recognizes this and in their own way pours into our life and is there for us, without trying to push an agenda. And second, it is relationships with peers, fellow youth pastors, those in the same boat, that I also find refueling in.  It is these relationships that you can find refueling, rest, and God.

May you find these kind of relationships in your context, so that you may find rest...

A letter to student's parents...

Click here for a letter written by a former youth minister who now works with youth pastors, Brian Abby from YouthMark.

I like the things that he says in the letter, but here the question:
Have you ever had "the look?"  Do you now?
I know for me, often times I can feel alone on an island, as a minister.  I can't talk to anyone in church because it could come back to bite me. I can't always share with others on staff; friends don't understand.  I feel alone.

I have seen too many great youth ministers be beaten by the system, the church, and because they felt alone walked away from youth ministry. This brings me so much sadness to me.

I want you to know you are not alone, and I encourage you in these moments...before these moments; find other youth workers, others in your shoes and build a community you can turn to.

If you can't find anyone, contact me.

You are not alone!